


Wait For You

by pikestaff



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/F, Happy Ending, Inquisition Advisor Merrill AU, Pining, kinda fluffy?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 09:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15482535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikestaff/pseuds/pikestaff
Summary: Merrill's done a lot of things over the years.  She's hunted with the clan in Ferelden, she lived in Kirkwall for a while, and then served as an advisor for the Inquisition.  But what she did most of all was wait for someone...





	Wait For You

Sometimes Merrill felt like she was always waiting for something. That’s what she was doing now— waiting.

The wind was ticklish and the air was crisp. Her senses felt heightened, and that brought her back to time spent in the woods of Ferelden with her two best friends, Tamlen and Mahariel.

The three of them had been inseparable. She smiled thinking back on it now. They ran around the forest together, playing and being happy and learning how to hunt. They got older, and Tamlen was very cute, but Lyna Mahariel was something else entirely: athletic and witty and sharp, with curly brown hair and a gleam in her eyes that Merrill loved. They grew older still, and Merrill’s admiration for Lyna turned into a tickle in her stomach and blush on her cheeks. Sometimes she thought that she should say something. But oh— oh, what if it went wrong? What if she did something that she wasn’t supposed to do? What if it ruined their friendship? What if it ruined everything?

She thought, maybe, that Lyna felt the same. Because they giggled a lot, and one time Lyna told her that she thought she was pretty. But maybe that was what friends did, Merrill thought. So she didn’t press.

One time they kissed, though. It was night and the air was clear and every so often they heard crickets or a night bird, and they were quietly enjoying each other’s company and then somehow they were holding hands and then somehow they were kissing, and Lyna was smiling, and Merrill felt all light, as though she might float away. Then the moment was over, and they had to go home. Merrill wondered if it their moment together would turn into something more. She hoped it would.

But before it could… everything changed. Lyna and Tamlen found a mirror hidden deep in a cave and then the mirror took Tamlen away. Merrill and Lyna went after him, and Lyna seemed to be okay, but… something had happened to Lyna. She was sick and— so said the strange shemlen who came to visit their camp— would only get better if she went with him, to become a Grey Warden.

Lyna stayed one final night before leaving and there was so much that Merrill wanted to tell her. She wanted to tell her how she felt. She wanted to ask her if their kiss was more than just a bit of fun. But mostly she was distracted by trying to get Lyna to stay. She couldn’t imagine life without her, and she was feeling increasingly desperate. Once she realized that she could not talk Lyna into staying, she tried a new tactic. “Take me with you,” she said. She was fidgeting with a frayed end of rope, braiding the pieces together, and then undoing them and braiding them again.

Lyna smiled at her, which Merrill loved. “I can’t ask you to do that,” she said.

“Well, you don’t have to ask, then,” said Merrill. “I’ll just volunteer.”

“I don’t think Duncan will let you,” said Lyna.

“Duncan? Is that the shemlen?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Well,” said Merrill resolutely, “He can’t stop me from going anyway.”

“Maybe he can,” said Lyna. “I don’t know. And anyway, I don’t want you to come. You need to stay here and watch for Tamlen in case he comes back.”

That was a fair point, but it also had Merrill worrying a bit. She looked away. “Do you like Tamlen a lot?”

“He is a good friend,” said Lyna.

“He would be a good match for a lot of people,” said Merrill, before she knew she was saying it.

“He would be, but not for me,” said Lyna.

Merrill wondered why and also wondered if she was supposed to know why just from the tone of Lyna’s voice. But then Lyna was talking again.

“Anyway. You need to stay here. I’ll come back, and you can wait for me.”

“You’ll come back?” Merrill asked. “I thought… Grey Wardens… left forever.”

“Shemlen ones do, maybe,” said Lyna. “But I’d never want to leave my clan for good. Would you?”

“No,” said Merrill, and that’s when she knew that Lyna would, indeed, come back someday.

So Lyna left the next day, and Merrill waited.

  


The whole clan moved to Sundermount a few weeks later, and Merrill hoped Lyna would be able to find them when she came looking. She was smart, so of course she would.

Merrill waited a whole year for the Blight to be over, and then she waited eagerly for Lyna to return to them. She didn’t, but Merrill knew it was only a matter of time. Lyna, she knew, would keep her word.

  


Merrill left her clan not long after that. She went to live in Kirkwall. And, for the first time, she began to have concerns. She had once told Lyna that leaving her clan was unthinkable. And it had been, back then. But now here she was, willingly leaving the Dalish to live among humans. If she could change her own mind so much, surely Lyna could, too? Surely Lyna could decide that she didn’t want to return home after all?

She met a mage named Anders soon after that and she asked him about it. He was a Grey Warden and he said he’d known the Hero of Ferelden. “Did you talk much to her? To Mahariel, I mean,” Merrill asked him once.

“A little,” said Anders. “She was pretty quiet. She mostly talked to another elf named Velanna.”

That worried Merrill, and then she felt odd because she knew exactly why she was worried. She pushed the thought from her mind. “Did she ever mention going back to her clan?”

“Not to me,” said Anders. “But she may have said something to Velanna. I never figured out what she was going to do after that whole business at Vigil’s Keep. She left a little before I did. Never said a word why. I wish her the best, though. She was always kind to me.”

_And to me_ , Merrill thought, although she didn’t say so out loud.

  


The years passed and still Merrill waited. She wondered about Lyna, sometimes. She wondered how she was doing. She wondered if she would go back to the clan and see that Merrill wasn’t there. If the clan would even tell Lyna that she was in Kirkwall, now. The clan had never liked her, and they had only liked her less over time. Surely they’d want to protect Lyna from the dangerous blood mage they saw her as.

_Lyna will find me_ , she would think to herself on those nights and pull the blanket tighter around her. _I know she will._

But eventually things went from bad to worse. Keeper Marethari died and if the entire clan didn’t hate Merrill before, they certainly did now. “It’s your fault, what happened to Tamlen and Lyna,” one of the elves spat at her as she left for good. “The Creators saw that you were turning to blood magic and they sent that mirror as a warning. And you didn’t listen, did you?”

Merrill thought that was ridiculous, but deep inside, she wondered if maybe it was true.

She wrote a letter that night that she didn’t think Lyna would ever see, but she wanted to say it anyway. “Will you ever come back?” it read. “I don’t know if you should. The Keeper is dead. The whole clan hates me. You would be wise to just stay away from them. And from me.”

Then she folded the paper up and hid it under her pillow. She thought about burning it, but that seemed too final, somehow. So she’d just forget about it, instead.

  


Then all of Kirkwall went up in rebellion. It was, Merrill thought, for the city’s own good, but it was still frightening. They fought against Meredith and her templars, and Merrill couldn’t help but wonder _what if this is the end?_ _What if I die? What if Lyna comes looking for me and I’m not here?_

She and Hawke talked before the final battle. “Do you think we’ll win?” Merrill asked nervously.

“I don’t know,” said Hawke truthfully. “But I do think that if anyone can do this, it’s us.”

Merrill had to agree with that. She had never met anyone quite like Hawke. Well, except for—

Hawke interrupted her. “What do you think you’re going to do? Afterwards.”

Merrill had already given that some thought. She wanted to stay in one place, to ensure that she would be easy for Lyna to find. “I think I’ll stay in Kirkwall,” she said. “I want to help the elves here. I couldn’t help my clan, but maybe I can help other people.”

“That’s very kind of you,” said Hawke, and smiled. “I can’t think of a better person for that job.”

“I hope so,” said Merrill, and she meant it.

  


They won that horrible battle, and afterwards Merrill helped clean up Kirkwall from the demons and the fires. She didn’t admit it, but she was glad to see the Chantry gone. It had done too many horrible things to elves in the name of its Maker.

She didn’t have much time to think on that, though. She spent a lot of time making sure that the alienage was safe and that the elves had food, water, and other necessities. She thought about Lyna a lot. Where was she now? What was she doing? The Blight had been over for nearly a decade— why was she still gone?

Did she often think about Merrill, the same way Merrill often thought about her?

It was odd, staying in one place for so long. Merrill was a Dalish elf. She was used to moving around with the clan. Staying put was strange to her. But she kept telling herself that Lyna would find her this way; that she could ask around and learn where she was. Perhaps, she thought, she could just stay in Kirkwall until she came back.

But things didn’t quite work out that way.

  


“I don’t know,” said Merrill. “I… I think I would rather stay here.”

“You’ve done a lot of great things here, Daisy,” said Varric. “All the elves here appreciate it. I know they do. But there’s more that you can do for them. For a lot of elves… not just the ones in Kirkwall.”

“I… don’t know,” Merrill said again. “Going back to Ferelden… I don’t know anyone there. Not anymore.”

“You’ll know me,” said Varric. “And I’m sure you’ll make new friends. You’re very lovable.”

Merrill thought that if Lyna had been the one to tell her that, she would probably have blushed. And thinking about Lyna reminded her… “I’m waiting for someone,” she said. “I have to stay here, in case she comes back.”

“Who are you waiting for?” Varric asked.

Merrill thought about telling him, but somehow it all seemed too personal. She had only ever talked to Anders about Lyna, and even then, only briefly. “Someone important,” she said at last.

“I see. Well,” Varric leaned back in his chair and threaded his fingers together. “I know a lot of people in Kirkwall. I can make sure one of them knows to keep an eye out for this friend of yours. They’ll be able to direct her to you. Sound good?”

That was a compelling argument. Varric _did_ know a lot of people. And she _would_ be able to help the elves if she took him up on his offer… “Alright,” she said. “She is a Dalish elf. Her name is Lyna.”

Varric looked at her oddly, and Merrill wondered how much he knew about the Hero of Ferelden already. But then he nodded. “Done,” he said. “I’ll make sure we have people keeping an eye out for her. So. Shall we pack?”

  


Merrill didn’t know what to expect when she arrived at Haven. She was the only Dalish elf there. There were a few other elves. One of them, a bald one, was a mage, and Merrill suspected that he was important somehow. If he’d been Dalish, she would have guessed that he was a Keeper, or Hahren. But he mostly kept to himself and didn’t talk to her much, and that was fine with her.

Still, there was a woman named Josephine who was very nice to her, and there was another woman, named Leliana, who, she overheard, knew the Hero of Ferelden. Merrill found her intimidating, but she worked up the courage to talk to her one day. “Excuse me,” she told her, approaching her in her tent. “I’m so sorry to intrude, but I have to ask— you knew Mahariel?”

“I _know_ Mahariel,” Leliana corrected her. “We still talk, sometimes.”

Merrill suddenly felt her heart begin to beat faster. “You… you do? Do you know where she is now?”

“That,” said Leliana, “Is something I cannot tell you. But she is well, if that is your concern.” She looked over at Merrill and sized her up. “She talked about you often.”

“She did?” Now her beating heart leaped up into her throat.

“Frequently. And very fondly. She said she was going to return to you, someday.” Leliana smiled thinly. “I gathered you must have been very special to her. If you’re worried that she won’t find you— don’t worry. She will.”

And that gave Merrill more hope than she’d had in years.

  


So she waited, as she had for so long already. A horrific attack by Corypheus forced them to move from Haven to a resplendent castle called Skyhold. There, Merrill preferred to spend time in the gardens, tending to flowers and herbs. She was now, as before, the Dalish adviser and, for the most part, the others respected her. She helped with diplomacy when the Inquisition encountered Dalish clans and provided advice as needed. But— mostly— she waited.

  


“I’m going to write a letter to the Hero of Ferelden,” Leliana said, and Merrill felt her soul light up. “Did you want me to include a personal message?”

Leliana and Merrill had never really talked much, and they talked about the Hero of Ferelden even less. But Leliana was intelligent and seemed to be able to deduce a great deal, and this was one of those moments. But the question caught Merrill off guard, and she faltered. “I don’t know,” she said.

“Well, think about it,” said Leliana. “I won’t send it for a few days.”

“How do you know where she is?” Merrill asked.

“I don’t,” said Leliana. She stroked the feathers of one of her ravens, who was perched nearby. “But I can find her.”

  


So Merrill decided what she wanted to say and told Leliana. She watched with fascination as Leliana sent out one of her ravens, and then she spent a lot of time busying herself as she waited, again. The days stretched on to weeks, and sometimes Merrill was tempted to worry about it all. But she never quite did, because she believed in Leliana and even more than that she believed in Lyna.

Finally Leliana smiled at her one day and beckoned her over. Merrill’s heart beat heavily as she approached her. But Leliana was kind as she handed a paper to Merrill. “This one is specifically for you,” she said.

Merrill took it and didn’t look at it until she was in the garden, alone, by the flowers. There, her nerves frayed, she finally unfolded it.

_“Merrill— I am proud of you. I will be home soon. To stay, this time.”_

  


Merrill could have wondered if it was odd to read and re-read a letter hundreds of times and keep it tucked away on her person wherever she went. But she didn't, because that didn't occur to her. That letter was the first she had heard from Lyna in years and it was precious to her. It was short and to the point and that didn't bother Merrill one bit. That's how Lyna was. She was frugal with her words, but the words she did share said everything. These words said she was coming back... so she believed them.

She traced a finger along the creases of the paper and read the letter again. Every word was there for a reason. It wouldn’t have been Lyna otherwise. Merrill focused on the _soon_ bit. She would not have used that word if it wasn’t true. So she pondered on that word more than any of the others. How soon did she mean?

Merrill began to fret more than she had in the past. What if something happened between now and then? Or worse, what if nothing happened, but Lyna came back with someone?

But there was nothing she could do but continue to wait, so she did.

She waited until Corypheus was defeated, and then she waited longer still, staying with the Inquisition until it was disbanded and her long-held her suspicions about Solas were proven correct. Then she felt rudderless, like a lost halla. She could go back to Kirkwall, perhaps. Varric said that he would be going back, of course, and she knew that he would help her out with whatever she needed. But did she even want to go back there?

She read the letter she’d received over and over. _Soon_ , it said. _Soon_. _If only soon was now_ , Merrill thought.

Merrill still wasn’t quite sure of her plan as she packed her things. She was just finishing things up when Leliana appeared in the doorway, almost from out of the shadows. It was odd, Merrill thought, the way she managed to do that even though now she was the Divine. “I suppose that’s it for the Inquisition,” Leliana said.

“I suppose so,” said Merrill.

“Do you know where you’ll be going next?” Leliana asked.

Merrill was quiet for a few moments. “No,” she finally admitted.

Leliana smiled. “You might just start walking and see where you turn up. Sometimes, just following your heart like that can lead to the best results.”

It was a frightening thought, but somehow, Merrill thought it might be wise. Somehow, returning to Kirkwall didn’t feel right. “Thank you for always being kind to me,” she said.

“And thank you for helping us,” said Leliana. “I hope that we’ll meet again in the future.”

“I hope so too,” said Merrill. She meant it. Leliana had been one of kindest people Merrill had gotten to know at Skyhold.

After Leliana left, Merrill took stock of her meager possessions. Certain that she had everything, she hoisted the pack on her back and set off. Despite it all, though, she couldn’t bypass the garden without one final goodbye. It was gorgeous and had been so good to her, and she plucked a flower for good luck before leaving at last and walking out the front gate.

She still didn’t know where she was headed, but she was more excited than scared. The air was crisp, and the wind was ticklish. It smelled of the forest. She was a Dalish elf, and she knew the woods better than any shemlen did. She knew the danger and beauty they held, and she knew their songs— the songs of birds and deer and—

—and the sound of someone approaching.

Merrill paused and reached for her staff. The sound of approaching footsteps grew louder. Whoever they were they were wearing armor but were also surprisingly light of foot. Were they an elf?

So there she was, waiting, and that moment seemed to stretch on and on. Something about the moment was familiar. It reminded her of her days as a child, with her friends Tamlen and Mahariel and—

Mahariel—

She rounded the corner. Blue and silver armor glinting in the sun. The armor of a Grey Warden—

—who threw her hood back, revealing curly brown hair and gleaming eyes and a dusting of freckles across her nose, and before Merrill really knew quite what she was doing she and Lyna were stumbling towards each other and then they landed, finally, _finally_ , in each other’s arms.

At first, they just held each other tightly. But then, Lyna put her hands up on Merrill’s face and they looked into each other’s eyes. They were both older, but Lyna’s eyes were just as familiar and warm as they had always been and Merrill loved them. They smiled at each other, and Lyna was the first to speak. “I’m sorry for making you wait so long.”

“It’s alright,” said Merrill. “I knew you would come back eventually.”

“It took longer than I wanted it to,” said Lyna, and she was looking right into Merrill’s eyes as she spoke. “But I had something I had to do. Something to make sure that once we were together, we wouldn’t have to part again.”

“You’re very brave,” said Merrill.

“Am I?” Lyna grinned. Her forehead was pressed up against Merrill’s.

“Yes,” said Merrill. “Well. I don’t know what you did, but I assume that it was very brave. Isn’t are Grey Warden things like that?”

And Lyna laughed. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Merrill. “If it’s about as much as I missed you…”

She didn’t complete the sentence, because then they kissed. They kissed, and it was gentle, just like the first time.

“No more waiting,” said Lyna, after pulling away.

“I did get very good at it, though,” said Merrill.

Lyna laughed and then looked over at Merrill’s hand. Merrill looked over too, before realizing that she was still holding the flower she’d picked from the Skyhold gardens.

“Oh!” she said. “I’d forgotten… but… here. You can have it.” She handed the flower to Lyna.

Lyna took it and sniffed it. Then she smiled. “How did you know to have a flower ready for me?” she asked with twinkling eyes.

“Oh, you know,” said Merrill. “It was just a feeling.”

They both giggled, then, and Merrill thought she saw a raven on a tree branch out of the corner of her eye, but when she turned to look towards it, nothing was there.

So she turned back to look at Lyna, and knew she would never have to look away again.

**Author's Note:**

> Whooo Pike back at it again with the rare pairs!!
> 
> \--
> 
> https://cure-teal.tumblr.com/


End file.
